May 2, 2024
Dear YouTube,
I’m very disappointed in you.
No doubt this letter will never reach you, but I have to write it anyway because sometimes things just need to be said out loud. There have been a myriad of Creators, just like me, who’ve written you letters just like this and even if they did reach the desks of your managers, owners or even shareholders, or engineers chances are they went ignored or were even ridiculed before being crumpled up and thrown into your waste bin. But not before all the people involved with you had a good laugh at our expense.
So, obviously this message is more for me than you.
As I said above, I’m disappointed in you.
When we first met you seemed as if you really did want to make the world a better place. This was the moniker repeated over and over again throughout the techno-digital world and you really did help put Silicon Valley on the map. You made being a San Franciscan exciting and fresh. The entire world was abuzz with energy and fresh ideas because of you, YouTube. You were interesting and humble and open with a great sense of humor and easy on the eyes. You were the kind of platform I could proudly bring home to my sweet mother and introduce to my brothers.
I was so happy with you in the beginning.
But then you changed. I don’t know if it was the fame, the money or new ownership but something happened. It’s as if the better world you boasted of creating was now something you wanted to control. And, just like with any controlling relationship, you started to withhold your attention, your emotional support and your care. Before, my creations were shared openly and thousands of likes would appear on my work, the view count would increase daily and my subscriptions were rising. Then all of a sudden you did something to reduce my view count and subscription rate. You wanted to keep me all to yourself. You sat in a dark room, obsessing over what I was saying, manually reducing my view count, keeping me from doing what I was meant to do, which was to create and tell a story.
You wrote me a letter. It was devastating.
“Nobody likes you,” the letter said. “Therefore, we don’t see the point of allowing your work to be monetized.”
No apologies. No real explanation. And, no real context.
in an alleged free market, YouTube, this simply didn’t make sense. After all, you were fully aware of the thousands of hours of work and creative energy I put into this relationship. I did much of it to please you, as well as myself. To help you maintain that original, sweet nature of yours and even though you became a controlling, withdrawn platform, I still put all my love and energy into you, really believing the two of us could make the world a better place.
But, this was a bad investment. I was giving everything and you were giving nothing. You continued to smash down my view count and manipulate data behind my back. You’d already withdrawn any possibility of earning an income, which I desperately need for survival. You reduced my subscription rate and you attempted to undermine me at every turn, unleashing trollbots to leave nasty, threatening comments on my creations.
Your cold, unexplained withdrawal of affection turned into outright abuse.
There have been two times that you crept into my room while I was asleep and left a shocking and disarming note on my nightstand. I found this act sneaky and cowardly. You knew I’d wake up to this very upsetting note and you showed nothing but sinister delight in throwing this bomb into the middle of my life.
The note you left on my nightstand was shocking and one of the most upsetting and untrue things I’d ever read in my life.
You accused me of attempting to cause harm.
You said as a result of this accusation you were taking away all of my privileges. You said there were certain portions of my creativity that were not only seen by you, but your peers, and you all agreed that it was causing harm to the public, so you had to lock me in the tower for two weeks and take away all my privileges on the platform.
So it wasn’t just you who was poring over my work, censoring me in any way you could, it was others too?
“Who are they?” I asked, “Who are these others that are looking for reasons to get rid of me?” I asked this quietly through my locked door. I could barely make eye contact with you through the bars on the heavy steel door that kept me from the outside world.
“Oh, various computer models and some of my human pals.” I heard a sinister laugh I’d never heard from you before and you casually waved me off.
You tried to make me feel small, insignificant and unproductive. But worse yet, you tried to make me feel like a bad person for doing good things, things that came from the deepest parts of my creativity and legitimate empathy that lives in my soul.
I asked you to show me exactly what I had said or done to cause harm to the world I love so much and you said “Oh just click here,” so I clicked on the portion of the work that allegedly was causing harm .. and there was nothing there!
“Would you like to appeal?” You voice was oily and snakelike.
“Appeal what?” I said. “I go to the link you sent me that you claim shows I allegedly cause harm to the world and there’s nothing there, it’s just a spinning wheel of death over a blank dark space.”
I appealed anyway and within seconds, you whipped out another note from your back pocket which read,
“APPEAL DENIED!”
After handing me the note and reveling in my shock, you then walked up to me very slowly and looked right into my eyes, “Try it again and I will kill you.”
YouTube just threatened to kill my creative life.
Was I afraid? Surprisingly, no. Perhaps it was because in my real life, in the physical world, I’d already had multiple attempts on my life made. Once, a nearly 7 foot tall boyfriend tried to smother me with a pillow after locking me in the closet and attempting to murder my pet Pomeranian and pet Maine Coon. Then there are the countless times doctors at Stanford Children’s attempted to take my life through experimental drug treatments.
So, no I wasn’t afraid at all.
Creatives, especially rebellious ones, don’t really fear platforms like you, YouTube.
Now comes the easy part: the realization of how easy it is to walk away from you. I know I won’t be missed and I know it’s what you wanted in the first place. I know you’re setting me up to kill me obsessing over my next video creation. It doesn’t matter if it’s about kittens playing string or a criticism of the World Health Organization. You’re going to kill me anyway. So, I’ll just remove myself from this murderous equation and not invest anymore time and energy into you.
Why in the world would I invest in my own creative death?
You’ve done enough YouTube. Back off and leave my content, that will remain on that platform for archival purposes alone. And I will leave you alone.
My work stands on its own merit. It is NOT harmful to others, there is no intent to do so. You’re a liar, a manipulator and abusive. You’ve become part of the problem and not the solution as you originally boasted.
In fact you have gone so far as to turn my mutual friends against me. I actually paid Vimeo a substantial membership rate only to have them unceremoniously destroy me off their platform. There is no doubt in my mind you had a hand in this, YouTube.
With all endings, though, come some new beginnings.
Badly burned, somewhat traumatized over your horrific behavior of me, I believe I’ve found another platform that won’t try to kill me. I’m trepidatious and I’m working through the trust issues you’ve created in me, but so far Rumble and I have a cordial, mutual respect for one another. But, I’m very cautious. And, although Rokfin has been pretty good to me and I can get paid from them, I can’t seem figure out how to actually access the money because I haven’t mastered crypto or blockchain conversions yet.
The saddest part of this, YouTube, is that I see other content creators whose sole focus is say, guitar playing or music or art censoring themselves and talking openly about how you’ve locked them in towers too.
For what? Since when is talking about guitars offensive or harmful to society?
At this point, YouTube, from the perspective of the outside world, it seems you are having some kind of mental break with reality. I’m not sure what happened but I do hope you get the help we all see that you desperately need.
I don’t see the point of continuing this relationship. I get nothing out of this except abuse, accusations and lies. It’s a bad use of my time and even more important, a terrible use of my creative energy.
Usually when I end a friendship or relationship, YouTube, I wish the other party well.
But, honestly, YouTube, I can’t wish you well. I hope you shut down to be honest. I hope you just go away and become something no one pays attention to and are left alone, forever, to ponder over your deceitful practices, your obsession with murdering content creators, and your vicious accusations that have ruined lives and opportunity for good, honest people.
You’re an awful platform and don’t deserve to be.
Book of Ours
To support us: http://www.book-of-ours.com/support/